Phoenix School of the Arts
by kirstismiles13
Summary: Bella is a passionate artist who has fought her way to the top of the Phoenix School of the Arts. Edward Cullen, on the other hand, has been handed success on a silver platter. But what will happen when fate brings them together? AH
1. Chapter One

As warm rays of morning sunshine bathed my face in golden warmth-, I could tell it was another beautiful day in Phoenix. I loved these moments in the morning—, lived for them even. The stillness of the mornings was always filled with hope, reassurance and contentment. Relishing the moment before facing my day, I smiled.

Deciding to start my day, I opened my eyes only to quickly shut them again because of the blinding sun:; the sun, which used to be a pleasant honey glow. Groaning, I began to feel my pulse rushing through my head as steady as a drum, the pain pounding my skull like a hammer. I looked at my alarm clock and groaned again. It was 6:30 and I didn't need to be ready until 8:00. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep with my pounding headache, I got out of bed slowly. Avoiding light-headedness always made mornings feel successful. For a coordination challenged person, dizziness did not aid my morning's moods: - as they always led to me tripping or something equally ridiculous.

As I lLooked in the bathroom mirror, I made an audible gasp. Maybe it was a good thing that I had decided to be an early riser today; otherwise, I would never be able to correct the mess that I had become over a few short hours of sleep. I still could feel the hair product in my hair from the night before. Its original use had made my hair look glossy, keeping it in place. But I had been so tired from the party last night that I had just collapsed in bed.

"These things should come with a warning label explaining what product plus sleep will do to your hair," I muttered to myself disdainfully.

I jumped into the shower with my brush, hoping that the conditioner would make it possible to detangle the jungle that seemed to take refuge on my scalp. As soon as my I opened my strawberry shampoo, I felt relaxed. Most girls my age had switched from cheap drugstore hair products—- specifically shampoo and conditioner. Call me juvenile, but there was no professional shampoo or conditioner that could create a breeze of sweet smelling strawberries as you walked by. I sighed happily, as my mind drifted to the night before as I began my morning routine…

_The blaring music welcomed Alice and I me before we even opened the car doors of Alice's yellow Porsche. I sighed._

_"What, Bella? Don't you want to party?" Alice asked out ofin concern. I looked at my best friend. Alice was tiny. Although she was 17- people still mistook her as a developed __12 year old. Her hair was black and had a pixie- styled cut. She was the only person I knew that could be so cute and whimsical, while still being sexy. It was almost irritating how effortless she made beauty look._

_"No Alice, I totally want to party_—_- I'm just a little anxious, that's all." I seemed to whisper the last part, hoping Alice wouldn't hear. Just as expected, the, little pixie and her stupid super hearing caught__ everything._

_"Yeah, that's right_—_- I guess it's not every night that the cutest guy at school asks you to meet him at the party because he wants to ask you something." Alice started giggling as if she knew something. She was always like that. _

_"Alice!!__" I groaned. My stomach was in knots, my body shaking. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. We walked to the house, ignoring the whistles from all the people like we always did. As soon as we were inside, Alice ran into the arms of her boyfriend Jasper_, _- the second hottest person of the male population at our school. Which made sense, because Alice was the second most popular, and I was the first. Not that it mattered…_

_"Hey, Bella, you look so hot." A familiar velvety voice called. It wasn't the line that caught my attention_—_- I'd heard it several times already tonight. It was the voice itself, I'd practically memorized it._

_"Hi Edward_—_- you said you wanted to ask me something?" I was flirting;, it was my second nature.__ I enjoyed the way he smiled in response._

"Yeah, I would have called you, but I really wanted to see your gorgeous face," he said disarmingly, and I couldn't help but smile in return. "Actually," he continued, "I was wondering if you would like to be my partner in the end-of-the-year show." I smiled at the knowledge that I was getting exactly what I wanted, like always.

_"Uhm…I am going to have to think about it." I enunciated every word, and his face immediately fell. Laughing, I replied, "Of course I will_—_, you are only the most talented boy at our school. It would only make sense." He smiled at that. Oh dear, he was such a Greek god...__- and he was all mine._

End of Flashback

Coming back to the present, I turned the water off, and wrapped a towel around myself. I yawned as I stepped back in front of the mirror, whipping away the fog from the steam of my shower. What I saw was much better—- back to my normal gorgeousness, I seesaw. I smiled. Today was going to be the first day of practice for Edward and me.I - Perfect.

After finishinged my bathroom routine, I walked into my closet and got dressed and sat on my bed. I looked at the clock.- 7:45. I sighed and walked out of my dorm. I might as well start the best day of school in my life.

I sighed and walked out of my dorm. I might as well start the best day of school in my entire li—

_Brriiiiing. Brrrriiiiiinnng. _

The shrill sound of my almost-retired alarm clock woke me up from my fairytale dream.

Ugh. I couldn't believe myself. I quickly ran to the shower, already late to my first class. I pulled my wet hair into an untidy bun, got dressed and threw myself out the door.

Just another day at The Phoenix School of tThe Arts.

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Beta'd by Peace Like a River {thank-you!}


	2. Chapter Two

I ran to my first class of the day disgusted with myself. I couldn't believe I had that dream. _Again_.I couldn't believe I had that dream—again. Me, - Bella Swan, crushing on **THE **Edward Cullen. It was despicable. I came to this school to launch my arts career, not die of embarrassment. I was suddenly very grateful that I had no roommate. I didn't even want to think about what I may or may not have said last night.

Rounding the final corner, I could feel my converse squeaking and slipping along the linoleum, threatening to slide out from underneath me. I used to arms to balance myself, adding to the overall chaotic look that had become Bella Swan. Arriving at the classroom door, I paused to compose my erratic breathing, tucking my hair behind my ears. After one final breath, I opened the door.

As I walked into music classed I vowedresolved—, no, was resolvedvowed— that I would stop this stupid crush and focus on the end of the year performance. It was everything; without it, I may as well kiss my future in the performing arts field goodbye. No amount of talent, which I scarcely had, would get me into auditions or, pay for studio time or equipment. Who needed a partner anyways? Not me.

Thankfully, I arrived to class just in time, which was before the professor. After years of education, I had finally worked out the way things really worked. You weren't late if you arrived before the teacher, as the teacher or instructor was never late. Mr. Cromwell, the music instructor, had no tolerance for tardiness. I settled into my usual window seat closest to the piano, and farthest away from the door. Just then, Mr. Cromwell burst into the classroom, his arms filled with what I supposed to be last night's homework, I was tempted to jump up and help him. Carrying 20 twenty or so original compositions didn't look easy to carry-, especially at that pace.

"Good morning, class. Lucky for you, I was able to mark your work last night. And, I might add, I wasn't cringing the entire time like I thought I would." Mr. Cromwell's comment sent quiet laughter through the class.

School had started only a week ago and Mr. Cromwell had told us that he wasn't expecting anything but screeching music, and horrible lyrics. I smiled to myself. I wrote lyrical compositions all the time—- that was nothing.

Mr. Cromwell continued, "As I was telling you yesterday, I didn't expect much- ... but I was happily surprised. In particular, I would like to congratulate two students who received full marks."

I took a deep breath, hoping, no- and praying it wouldn't be me. It was egotistical to think that I would be better than everyone else would, but I really hated the attention. It would usually mean Mr. Cromwell playing or reading the piece for the entire class—- or even worse, making you perform the piece. I prayed harder, more fervently than I ever had before.

"The two students aree- Edward Cullen…" I let my breath out. There was no surprise there. Edward Cullen was the most talented pianist in the school, not to mention the most- _okay pullt yourself together Bella, STOP IT! _"And Isabella Swan." I blinked in surprise, not fully comprehending what he had said. Realizing that the entire class was staring at me—- scratch that, glaring at me— I reached the conclusion that God must hate me. I looked down, hoping to hide my face, which was probably as red as a tomato. Mr. Cromwell started speaking again, after the class had broken out in jealous murmurs, or in my case, utter and total humiliation.

"Edward, would you please play your composition for us?" I sighed in relief. Mr. Cromwell never asked more than one person to share. Edward was my saviour…my Greek god- like saviour…_stop it Bella stop it!_

The sweetest, most complex sound coming from the piano interrupted my internal battle. I turned to the piano and my heart skipped a beat. EHe- Edward Cullen was looking at me. His green eyes seemed to see into my soul. I broke our gaze and looked at his face. It was perfect—- inhumanly beautiful. His bronze hair was a perfect mess; a look that only he himself was able to successfully pull off. Mike Newton was living proof of that fact. Edward concluded his piece with a beautifully complex chord that left the class in a silent reverie. Edward had a way of doing that:-, lulling the crowd into an astonishment and tranquility that would be a crime to interrupt with applause, even if it was well- deserved. I envied the fact that he could command an audience that way with his own musical compositions.

To my complete horror, Mr. Cromwell looked at me with a gleeful expression, and then back to Edward. Oh no.

"Now Bella, could you please read out your lyrical composition?" He gave me a smile, suggesting that it wasn't a question, but a demand.

"S-s-s-ure,." I managed to stutter in response. I stood up with very wobbly knees, and Mr. Cromwell handed my lyrics to me. I knew them off by heart, but I gladly accepted them as a distraction for my eyes. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves, and found it was no use.

"_You're in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
Tthe music playing on for only two  
So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive_

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams will stop  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted to hold you  
So close_

_So close to reaching that famous happy end  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far, we are so close_

_How could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?  
We're so close  
To reaching that famous happy end  
And almost believing this was not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are  
So close  
So close  
And still so far"_

I took another deep breath and looked at the class. Everyone seemed to be gazing at me with an awestruck look on his or her faces. I blushed, and quickly retreated to my seat. Of course, being Bellame, I tripped on air. I braced myself for impact, only to feel two warm hands reach out and catch me before my head hit the piano. If I was blushing before, my face was now a permanent red. Luckily, for me, no one seemed to have noticed. I looked up into the eyes of my hero,- only to find two green eyes boring into my brown eyesones. His eyes were full ofn concern, and relief. Edward Cullen was my personal saviour once again. This made me want to fall deeper into my crush, but then my euphoria was followed by an overwhelming surge of bitterness hatred. Why did he always have everything together, _everything?_ Everything was handed to him. He was good at everything—-, even being the one thing that I wanted or needed, but he didn't care.

Before I could say thank you, the bell rang. I walked out of the room in a brisk pace hurrying to bBiology, suffocating in my own internal battle of thoughts and feelings.

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Beta'd by Peace Like a River. :)


	3. Chapter Three

The rest of my day went by in at an alarming pace. After general music studies, I went to biology, then lunch, then vocal studies, then English, and then finally math. I hated math. It was my firm belief that math and theory that math at an art school was a complete oxy-moron that should be purgedliberated from the institution.

I was taking so many classes, that, every day, my class rotation seemed to be different. My teachers told me I was taking on too much, but I didn't care. I couldn't afford to stay here as long as the other students could. Therefore, I accepted the extra work with open arms. In reality, therey were only three extra classes: government, history, and dance. I smiled. Other than vocal studies, dance was my favourite. When I was on the dance floor, I felt like I could do anything. My clumsiness disappeared as soon as the music started. BeingEven though I was so clumsy that I could probably obtain a handicapped parking pass, dancing became an escape from the harsh realities of my imperfections. That was true art in my opinion, and I was'm sure other students or accomplished artists would agree.

As I opened the door to my dorm, I let my mind wander to my very interesting general music studies class. Apparently, everyone had noticed my fall, and Edward catching me. I just didn't notice their attentionscrutiny at the time, which was a blessing in disguise. I don't think it would have been possible for me to blush a darker colour without blood vessels bursting. The only thing that informed me of this information was I had heard the sneers, and jokes being thrown around as I walked down the hallway. I didn't even want to begin thinking about the gossip. Instead, I had walked down the hallway in my usual stance: head down with my eyes warily watching my converse shoes, keeping the mantra of 'don't fall' on repeat with my books held close to my chest. Once inside my dorm, I sighed as I sat on my lumpy mattress, looking at the clock. It was 4:30. I had just enough time to finish my math homework, have a shower, and go to work at 5:30. Dinner wouldn't be an option tonight.

I practically ran to work, not wanting to be late again. Esme, the owner, was very kind and forgiving, but I didn't want to give her a reason to worry about or pity me. She knew about my financial situation and gave me too many breaks. I smiled as I walked into La Bella Italia. I loved it here. I couldn't afford to eat here as a customer, but Esme, bless her heart, always sent me home with something to eat.

"Bella, dear, how was your day today?" Esme greeted me as if I was her own child. She couldn't have children of her own, and I was like her long lost daughter. She even offered to pay for my tuition once. I had declined her offer; I didn't want to be a burden. Her husband, - Carlisle, was just as kind. He was a doctor. He offered me his services as well, which I accepted gladly. I couldn't afford the hospital bills that came along with dancing and my ability to trip on air.e, and the entire clumsy attribute of mine.

I smiled in return., "It was interesting, like it always is. I only managed to trip once today." She beamed at me, obviously proud. I tried to transition back to work mode. "What would you like me to do today? Serve, bus tables…?"

"It would really help if you could be a server today., Anne called in sick today."

"Sure." Just as I walked around the corner to grab a pen and a pad of paper, _he_ walked in. The one person that I had avoided all day. The one person who I had made a complete idiot of myself in front of. I didn't hadn't even apologized. My eyes finally fell on Edward's arm, to which which had Tanya had attached herself as becoming some bottle-blonde accessory. Esme guided him to his reserved table and they sat down. If there were a God in heaven, Edward wouldn't recognise me. I smiled and walked to their table.

"Good evening, my name is Bella, and I will be your server tonight. Could I get you anything to drink?" Somehow, I managed to speak coherently. The trick was not to look in his eyes.

"Uhm…I'll have Swiss water, in the bottle." I nodded and turned towards Edward. Tanya wouldn't have it. "It has to be Swiss water. Any other kind makes me sick and sluggish and I can't afford to fall behind this semester. Swiss water. Don't forget." Tanya sneered at me, looking pointedly at my pad of paper and pen. I fought the smirk that threatened to creep into my expression. Instead, I inwardly imagined all of her hair falling out.

"And for you, sir?" Edward had the same expression on his face as Tanya but a lot more cruel, which surprised me. Edward was always smiling and easy going in the hallways. He never smiled or talked to me, of course, but being cruel just didn't fit what I thought of his personality.

"I'll have a coke."

"All right, let me go get that for you." As I walked away, I could hear them laughing and talking about me as I left. La Bella Italia was a small restaurant- – sound carried.

"It's a step up from cleaning the dishes, and I thought La Bella Italia had standards. She's I so hideous, I'm surprised people don't complain. I am going to have hard time keeping my food down. She had better not forget about the Swiss water. I had other water once, and I was sick for like two2 weeks afterwards. It was horrible,." Tanya said to Edward, he nodded, patting her hand sympathetically.

"I know, Tanya, and she's the biggest show-off ever, not to mention a klutz. Today after reading her lyrical composition – , which I'm sure she bribed Mr. Cromwell for full marks in the first place – -, she fell on me. I wonder how much she costs this establishment on broken dishes alone." They continued their comments.

"Klutzerella,." Edward sneered, and Tanya giggled. I felt my eyes begin to pool with unwanted tears. I was sad, and further more I was angry. Stupid tear ducts for being programmed to cry when I got mad. One tear silently fell down my cheek as I got their drinks. Thank goodness, Esme didn't see me.

I made my way back to their table, and placing their drinks on the table.

"Have you decided what to order yet, or do you need more time?" I smiled pleasantly at them, even though I just wanted to go in a corner and cry.

"Yes, I'll have the mushroom ravioli, and she will have the salad special,." Edward replied. I picked up their menus and walked away. As soon as I was out of their sight, I started to cry. Esme saw me this time and gave me a hug only a mother could give.

"What's wrong, dear?" She asked softly, leading me to the employee lounge.

I sat down and told her about Edward and Tanya. She gave me an angry expression.

"They said that about you?" I nodded my head. "I'm sorry, dear." As she said this, she pulled me into a hug.

I stood up., "I need to go get their orders Esme, and I don't want to make them wait any longer." With that, I walked out of the room and picked up their orders.

I made my way to their table slowly, not wanting to prove them right about my clumsiness. I gave them their food without any words, just a smile. The rest of the night passed without incident. The rest of the customers liked me, or at least they were nice to me. I walked past the entrance and saw Tanya and Edward leave. I smiled;, they were gone. I went directly to their table picking up the bill, and looking for a tip. There was nothing.

It was 10:30 when I got off work. As soon as I walked into my dorm, I changed into my payjamas and collapsed on my bed. I had booked some time in the dance studio before school started. I needed to be up by 4:30. That was my last thought as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

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Beta'd by the AMAZING Peace like a river. You are amazing!


	4. Chapter Four

The next morning I woke up to my alarm. I was exhausted, but I really needed time in the dance studio. I yawned and stretched in my bed, and gathered my dance outfit, put it on, and pulled my hair in a messy bun. Before I walked out the door, I quickly brushed my teeth. There was no need for a shower; I was just going to get sweaty anyways. I sighed and walked out my dorm room, and headed for the dance studio.

It was so quiet and peaceful this early in the morning. I smiled. The sun hadn't made its way about above the horizon;, yet the sky seemed to lighten as the minutes stretched forward. A presence that I couldn't grasp was tangible in the air. The stars still twinkled in the sky above me, and I found myself looking up at their brilliance. I was almost disappointed to have to go inside.

As soon as I arrived at the dance studio, I flicked the lights on, walked towards the stereo, and pressed play. As the music played, I forgot all my worries. I started stretching, letting a yawn escape. Before I knew it, I was twirling in and out of the glimmering light of the morning sun that was beginning to rise above the horizon. As I danced, I was partially aware of the etherealurethral shadows my body made on the wall and my backdrop of the red, orange, and pink sunrise. My mind began to map out a dance routine for the end of the year performance.

Dancers and musicians had different end of the year performances. Don't ask me why;, I had no idea. All I knew was that I had a better chance at receiving a scholarship by dancing _and_ singing. By doing both performances and competitions, my chances doubled. I still harboured a hope that I would win both of them – , that along with my dream of meeting a Pprince Ccharming. The music finished, and I stopped dancing. I was going to have to work that out a little bit more –, it just didn't seem to end right. The sound of applause interrupted my thoughts. I jumped and turned around, only to jump again, this time falling on my rear. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. My dark blue leotard and short skirt suddenly had me feeling entirely too exposed. I looked up, rays of morning sun glinting in my brown eyes. I felt my spirits drastically fall as Edward stood at the doorway.

"Wow Klutzerella – a dancer?" The velvet voice sneered. I picked myself up and glared at him. I looked at the clock:- it was 6:00 in the morning.

"Yes, and by the way my name is Bella – - not Klutzerella. What do you want... , actually no – what are you doing here?" I sneered right back at him, not looking in his eyes. I was silently surprised that I had the bravery to actually stand up for myself. Once again, the trick to standing up to Edward Cullen: don't look in his eyes.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I was practicing the piano and heard something." He was glaring at me angrily. What did he want me to do? Apologize for interrupting him? He was the one that walked in on me.

"Well, excuse me., I was practicing too, for which I am not going to apologize. I didn't interrupt you, like you are doing now." After saying that, I turned around and started the music, beginning to dance again. Edward stormed out of the room, and I smiled.

Before I knew it, my solo time was up. I ran back to my dorm, showered, and got dressed. I had a little extra time so I even blow-dried my hair. I left my dorm going to my first class with a smile.

My first class of the day was vocal studies. I couldn't help but smile. The day couldn't be any more perfect. I had all my favourite classes today, solo time in the dance studio, private time with Adonis himself, _stop it Bella. He is so stuck up, and hates you, and treats you like dirt…_and it was a Friday. Classes ended an hour early on Fridays. My smile however, vanished as I walked into the vVocal studies classroom and saw him. Since when did he take vocal studies? Even worse, the only empty seat was next to him. Great.

As I sat down and he looked at me, his facial expression made me think that he had encountered something that smelt smelled bad. I knew for a fact that I smelt smelled of strawberries – - thanks to my favourite shampoo and conditioner. No, that wasn't it; it was the facial expression he reserved for when he had to interact with the lowly unknowns of the school.

"Look, Edward, stop treating me like I'm nothing. Just because I'm not a stuck up egotistical jerk does not give you the right to treat me like pond scum. I am a person, and I expect to be treated like one." My stomach was doing summersaults at the words I had just said. Not only did I stand up for myself, but also I was coherent – - and I made the mistake to lookof looking into his emerald eyes. I looked at him again, flustered. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again, too shocked to respond. Just then, Mr. Banner walked in with a gleeful expression.

"Good morning class! I have news all the way from the guys upstairs." The class laughed. Mr. Banner was the youngest teacher in the school, and he pulled off a rocker look. He didn't believe in conforming to regulation, arguing that it blocked his creative and artistic freedoms.

"Apparently, this year for the musician's end of the year performance-... you need to be in pairs. Don't get too excited, because you don't get to pick them. Remember that composition assignment Mr. Cromwell assigned? Well, that was a trick. Those assignments were used to help put you in pairs." As Mr. Banner spoke, my face went white. Partners? WHAT? Panic erupted within me. "I know, class, this totally sucks. But Tthe best rock and roll songs are always about hate anyways..., why not use this raw emotion and turn it into some music?" The class laughed nervously at Mr. Banner's attempt to lighten the mood.

"Now, to introduce the partners…" My mind was in over drive as I attempted to collect myself to hear who I was doomed to be partnered with. "Tanya Denali and…" My heart skipped a beat. "Mike Newton." I looked at Edward;, he didn't look very happy at all. He was probably hoping that Tanya and he would be partners. "Bella Swan and…" I smiled despite the situation; Mr. Banner called me Bella without me even needing to ask. "Edward Cullen." My face went beet red. It was just like in my fairytale dream, except that Edward was forced to be my partner. I was interrupted by Edward's screams.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Edward shouted, not even attempting to contain his fury any longer. "With Bella Swan? Seriously, Mr. Banner, I refuse!" He spat, the pitch of his voice steadily increasing. "There is no way! I demand to be switched!""YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. ME WITH BELLA SWAN? SERIOUSLY MR. BANNER, I REFUSE! THERE IS NO WAY! I DEMAND TO BE SWITCHED!!" Edwards's words sent rejection through my veins, which and that rejection quickly turned into anger. Anger. I was mad. Like in a well-rehearsed play, the tears were right on cue, running down my cheeks.

"Edward, just because you are afraid that Bella Swan – - that _I_ might over shadow you, doesn't mean you need to yell. I'm right here, and Mr. Banner isn't even two2 feet away from you, in case you didn't notice. I understand, though;, you must be too busy thinking about yourself to notice others, their location, and their feelings. Oh, and by the way – - I would rather not perform than be partners with you. I try really hard not to associate myself with ungrateful, egotistical jerks. Consider yourself off the hook, Edward." With that, I ran out of the room, tears still spilling down my cheeks.

I walked down the hallway, and slid down the lockers, sitting down with my back leaning against them. Mr. Banner silently walked beside me and did the same.

"Bella, are you okay?" Mr. Banner asked. I looked at him through tear-filled eyes and nodded even though it was a stupid question. I felt guilty for disrupting his class like that.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Banner; I didn't mean to disrupt your class." I sniffled and looked up at him. His face had a mask of concern and a little bit of shock. He nodded and said, "I understand, Bella;, it's fine. As a teacher, I give you permission to go back to your dorm and chill. Take the day off. I'll see you bright and early Saturday morning for your private lessons." I smiled at the last comment and got up. Mr. Banner was the best. I looked back again to see him heading back to class. I headed towards my dorm, opened the door, and tripped over a pile of suitcases in my way. I looked up and saw a pixie like girl looking at me. The girl from my dream? I must have hit my head hard.

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Beta'd by the amazing Peace Like a River :)


	5. Chapter Five

I looked up at the little pixie again, feeling a sense of Déjà vu. "Not to be rude or anything, but who are you, and what are you doing in my dorm?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head while standing up gingerly.

The little pixie looked at me and began to jump around me, very energetically. "I'm Alice –- YOUR NEW ROOMMATE!! We are going to be the best of friends; I can tell already." She couldn't sit still. I was tired just looking at her.

"You mean my first roommate; I haven't ever had one yet. Oh, I'm Bella Swan, by the way. Nice to meet you."

Alice looked at me. I looked at her. Cue awkward turtle.

"Why don't we go for dinner, and you can tell me about yourself – - my treat,." Alice replied. I eyed her sceptically; for all I knew, Alice was some crazed serial killer stalker and I was her intended target. Weighing my options, I gave her a once over. Alice was tiny, so small in fact, that she looked as if she should still be in elementary school. If Alice did indeed want to kill me, I could fight her off. We'd be eating in a public place anyways. Sighing, I relented somehow knowing deep down she wouldn't accept less. That, andI gave, in instinctually knowing that she wouldn't accept less, and because I didn't have enough money to cover dinner for tonight.

I smiled at her. "Sounds great." It was 10:00AM. I had the rest of the day off, thanks to Mr. Banner. "Would you like me to help you unpack?, I have the day off."

Alice jumped in excitement. "Great!! Thanks!! Which bed is mine? Where is my closest, bathroom?" She asked.

She was talking so quickly that I bareley caught it all. I giggled and showed her everything in our dorm, and I started to help her unpack. Her clothes were all designer brands. Some items still had the tags attached. I laughed to myself. She had 10 ten suitcases. _10Ten_. One of them was for makeup, another one was for hair styling tools, two2 of them were filled with shoes, and the rest were filled packed to the brim with clothes.

"I'm going to take a wild guess here and say you like clothes?"

Alice giggled at my remark.

"Yes, I do, almost as much as dance and music."

I smiled at her response. Talking to Alice was really easy. I asked her about her home, family, how she liked it in Phoenix so far. We talked for hours. Eventually, she asked my about what classes I was taking, and I handed her my schedule.

"NO WAY?! We have like all of the same classes. We are together for everything!"

I smiled, excited too. For some inexplicable reason, I already loved Alice like she was my sister, even though; I had only known her for a few hours.

"That' is so cool!" I replied.

Eventually, Edward became the topic of our conversation. I told her everything – - starting atfrom my ridiculous dream to what happened today. She smiled.

"You are so in love."

I threw a hair brush at her playfully.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too, are too, are too to infinity."

We burst out into fits of giggles. I looked at the clock. It was already 4:30.

"Just between you and Ime, I heard that Mr. Banner gave him detention for his stunt in class." Alice smirked, while I stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Hhow the heck have you made your way into the school gossip channels?. I didn't even know that."

Alice broke eye-contact with followed my gaze. "Oh, we should get ready for dinner. Could I do your hair and makeup for dinner tonight?"

I looked at her, as she stood and walked towards the now well- stocked bathroom. She opened a makeup case, plucking lip gloss out and began beginning to apply it. As she smeared it on her lips, she continued, . "Yyou know, you should really sign up for Ttwitter. It does wonders for being socially informed."

I laughed with her.

"Now, about your hair and makeup..." She trailed off, pulling me up from my sitting position into the bathroom, where she began, what I assumed would be a rather torturous endeavour. Instead of groaning and complaining, however, I found myself basking in my new found friendship. It was nice just to talk and laugh with her.

It was 5:30 by the time we arrived at the school food court. Alice, to my dismay, had dressed me too. I was dressed in a pair of dark- wash skinny jeans, a cotton midnight blue blouse, and a white blazer with white ballet flats to match. As much as I hated to admit it, I was glad she had dressed me. I looked like a fantastic.

Alice and I finally settled on getting Chinese. As we waited for our orders, Alice and Iwe chatted amicably.

"Seriously, Alice, I can't just drop out of the end of the year performance. I could really, really use the cash. I mean, I'm barely getting on by as it is. All I ever do is work, or go to school." My shoulders slumped.

"I know what you mean. My parents don't want me here. They want me to go to a nice, respectable school where I can find a suitor and, eventually, a husband. They refused outright to pay tuition. Luckily I was able to scrounge up a scholarship. My mom finally came to her senses and agreed to pay for my living expenses, though."

"Edward is just so... - well, mean. He can be so cruel when he wants to be, which, ironically, is always just at me. I know he isn't serious about the performances either;, I mean, it's not like he needs money."

"Maybe that detention will do him good,." Alice replied.

I rolled my eyes at her statement, turning to pick up our food. That's when I saw him. My entire body must have tensed because Alice followed my gaze.

"Is that him? Is that Edward Cullen?"

All I could do was nod. Alice understood. After finishing out food, we started to make our way towards our dorm. Deciding to take the long way soto Alice could find her bearings, we walked slowly around campus. I started walking down the stairs and saw Tanya.

"Oh, hHi, Tanya." Just because she refused to be pleasant, didn't mean I had to sink to her level. She just glared at me, then smirked, sticking her leg out. Before I could readjust, I tripped and fell. I felt myself rolling down the stairs that led to an open outside seating area centered around a fountain. I vaguely heard Alice screaming my name, and then everything went black.

I woke up in an unfamiliar white room. Carlisle was at the end of my bed, signing paperwork. I looked around the room. Esme and Alice were on either side of my bed. I groaned. Everyone's eyes looked at me in alert.

"Bella, do you feel any pain?" Carlisle asked. I shook my head no. He seemed pleased at that response. Alice's and Esme's eyes were filled with tears. I looked at them with a confused expression.

"Bella, honey, you fell down the stairs in the courtyard. Do you remember?"

I nodded a yes, and she Esme continued. "Honey, we have some bad news." Esme looked at Carlisle for some help. I just lay there, helpless as ever.

"Bella, you hurt your knee – badly." Esme was speaking very carefully, as if to a small child, and I immediately knew that something terrible had happened.

A numb feeling washed over me. Whatever had happened, I couldn't let myself fall to pieces – couldn't let Tanya get to me...

"I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to dance. Ever again."

_Ever... again?_ But I _had_ to dance. I just... I had to... This couldn't be happening.

I dimly registered the sensation of a hand on my shoulder, but it did nothing to comfort me.

I couldn't help it. I broke. The sound of ragged, desperate sobs filled the room, and it took me a while to realize they were coming from me.

Helpless against the hysteria, I cried until the blackness overtook me once again."Bella, you hurt your knee – - badly. I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to dance – - ever again." I couldn't help myself;, I just began to sob. I went into hysterics, until blackness overtook me once again.

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Beta'd by Peace Like a River :)


	6. Chapter Six

"Alice, I can walk without help. I'm not a complete cripple!" I snapped as Alice helped me into our dorm.

I saw Alice grimace at my words. I knew she was pitying me and my predicament, and I hated her for it. I knew it was irrational, but Ii couldn't help it. Dancing was my _life, _only now it wasn't. It was my one escape from the world around me. Everyone was relieved after I had been released from the hospital, no one more than me.

There was nowhere to hide my grief in the hospital. Someone was always at my side to witness the cruel tears that made tracks down my cheeks, or the discolouration of my skin as I refused to eat. I had no privacy to wallow in my new found misery. With Esme's motherly concern, Carlisle's medical genius, and Alice's friendly speculation – of a friend-, it was impossible to grieve without feeling guilty. Esme worried about me constantly, often refusing to leave my hospital room. Carlisle made note of my loss of appetite and weight with a wearying wearied expression. Alice looked like she was always on the verge of tears, tears that until now, I realized, belonged to me.

While in the hospital, I had endured weeks of physical therapy. It was horrifying to wake -up and realize that after years of walking, running (well, not in my case), and dancing, I'd have to teach my knee to do so all over again. Like most forms of therapy, tears were an everyday occureance, as well as a pain so deep rooted that it gradually began to take over all of my extremieties. With every throb, my knee seemed to communicate, "_Can't dance. Never dance." _

I could walk now, but with a constant pain in my knee. I felt like Doctor Gregory House, except that I refused to use a cane. I'd rather die, to be perfectly honest.

I sat down on the couch as Alice asked, "What are you going to do, Bella?"

I looked at the floor.

"I don't know, Alice. I need that scholarship money. I can't even think about it. But, I'm going to have to go see Mr. Banner and explain the situation. Edward doesn't want to be my partner, but he is going to have to deal with it. I've got bigger fish to fry." I tried to laugh at my last few words, but even it sounded forced even to my ears. I had a lot of time in the hospital to think- . I liked Edward – , maybe even _loved_ him, and like everything else in my life, I had somehow managed to screw everything up.

"Well, we don't have to worry about that until tomorrow., Wwhat do you say to some pizza and chick flicks?"

I laughed at that comment and nodded in agreement. As Alice walked gracefully to the phone, I felt a knot of pain and depression at the reminder that I would never be like that again.

The next day at school was normal. It was as if I hadn't spent weeks in the hospital, or and that my dreams hadn't been torturously ripped from my heart. _Back to normal, I see._ Alice grabbed my hand:, a gesture of support, and I limped, almost unnoticeably into Mr. Banner's room. As I explained everything to Mr. Banner, I was sure he would understand.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I can't do anything about the partner situation. You're going to have to speak to Mr. Cullen." I had expected this much, but I couldn't help the gloom that settled on top of me.

"It's okay, Mr. Banner, I totally understand."

I decided that lunch time would probably be my best shot at talking to Edward. As I sat through my classes, I tried to think of what I was going to say.

Once it was lunchtime, I limped into the lunchroom without much help from my classmates. My knee was having what I deemed to be a 'bad day'. My life truly sucked. I gazed around the lunchroom, looking for Edward's unruly hair. Spotting it, I walked – , or limped – with a purpose. My thoughts began to race with things that needed to be said. Now, as I stood before him, all my well thought out speeches seemed to have had vacated the premises of my brain.

"Edward, could I please speak to you alone?" Was all that I was able to come up with?. I noticed with a sense of dread, how depressed my voice sounded. I vaguely noticed Edward nod, and follow in the direction I had been walking in – - the hallway. Before I could struggle with the door, he opened it for me, gesturing me forward. It caught me by surprise. As soon as we were outr of the lunchroom, I stopped, looking at my shoes, then finally at Edward.

"Okay, look, I know you think I am beneath you, but I need to ask a favour of you. Because of your stupid girlfriend and her little stunt – - I can't dance anymore. And I really need to try to win that scholarship money, so – -"

He interrupted me.

"You want me to perform with you?"

"Yes."

I could see him nod, obviously pleased in the position I was in.

"Fine."

"Good." And with that, I walked away. Remembering the upcoming date, and the fact that Ii couldn't call him later, I stopped and turned around.

"Meet you in the rehearsal hall at seven7?" I saw a swift nod, then I continued to walk away.

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Beta'd by the incredible Peace like a River!!

PS- I'm not going to post another chapter until a) My beta and I have edited/ proof read a few more chapters and b) More reviews are received :P (I hate it when authors do that to me...but you don't have to pay money to read the story...so....consider reviews as a payment of sorts...and plus is really makes me happy...and when I'm happy chapters come more readily!) :P


	7. Chapter Seven

Hello y'all! I had to edit this chapter without my beta...so there will most likely be a few mistakes! Sorry it took sooo incredibly long to update! I'm adapting my other story- "Concrete Angel" into my own novel, I'll keep you updated! I've also graduated! SO STOKED! Okay, okay back to the story.

Music for this Chapter: Stand in the Rain- Superchick; So Close- Jon McLaughlin; Terrified- Kara DioGuardi

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It was weird having spare time after my classes. I could finish my homework without staying up past 12, watch TV _and_ have dinner. I guess I would have to thank Tanya for that. _Without her tripping expertise, I would still be working __and __**dancing**__ to my heart's content_, I thought bitterly_._ As soon as I was out of the hospital, I tried to go to work like usual. Esme wouldn't have it. She told me that everything was going to be taken care of from now on. I hated being dependant on someone, even if it was Esme.

Being watched over by a motherly figure was a foreign concept to me. Obviously, I _had _a mother and a father- the contributors of my DNA, but I couldn't remember that _feeling. _Most people have that feeling- the feeling that no matter what their parents would love them, care for them and always be there. I used to have that feeling; my parents broke their promise when they died.

I could never blame my mother; cancer is hardly an intentional way to die. Everything just felt _so _sudden. All of a sudden, my _healthy_, happy, harebrained mother was diagnosed with an aggressive strain of cancer. In that instant, my life changed forever. She died quickly, a rare blessing with her disease. My father never recovered; joining her soon after she died.

Leaving me alone.

Shaking my head to clear my aggressively painful thoughts, I glanced at the clock. I was going to meet Edward at the rehearsal hall at 7:00. It was only 5:00. Not having anything else to do, I picked up my coat and boom box and made my way over to the rehearsal hall.

The rehearsal hall was an exact miniature of the performance hall. High ceiling, red puffy theatre chairs, and a hardwood stage; everything that made performing my favourite past time. Nothing could compare to the feeling and atmosphere created by the lights, the smell of bouquets of flowers resting an audience member's laps intended for loved ones, and the pitter-patter created by lithe dance steps as dancers and performers glided across the hardwood stage.

The entrance was at the back of the room, behind all of the seats. I sighed and made my way to the stage. This is where I had my dance audition to get into the school. Smiling at the memory, I sat on the piano bench in the centre of the stage.

That is when the idea hit me. Why should I have to just give up on dance, without trying? That wasn't me at all. It had been several months since my accident, and I could walk on my knee without help or too much pain. You can't say that you've failed until you've tried. I looked at my watch- I had an hour and a half. I had plenty of time.

Before I had left Edward in the hallway earlier that day, he had slipped me a copy of his composition. Smiling with my ingenious, I put the CD in the boom box, plugged it in and let the music play. The sweet notes filled the room. Instinctively I turned, and started singing my lyrics.

You're in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two  
So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive

As cheesy and ridiculous as it sounded, I imagined Edward's arms around me lovingly, whispering reassurances in my ear. All of my problems in my life could just fade away.

A life goes by  
Romantic dreams will stop  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted to hold you  
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end  
almost believing this was not pretend  
and now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?  
We're so close  
To reaching that famous happy end  
And almost believing this was not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are  
So close  
So close  
And still so far

As I sang each lyric, I danced with all my heart. I fought back tears of pain, which slowly ebbed away. Once again, I was in my dancing bubble where nothing in the world- no matter how large the problem could get in my way. I didn't care; no one was ever going to see me anyways, much to my dismay. My knee still faintly throbbed, but I didn't fall, and the music inspired me. Maybe the teachers were right- my lyrics and his music fit perfectly. _Almost like the way I wished I fit perfectly with Edward._ I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Edward hated me. The only reason he broke up with Tanya was because he didn't want his image tarnished. If he didn't like a tarnished image, he defiantly wouldn't want one filled with social pond scum like me.

Far too soon, the music ended. I ran over to the boom box, and put it on repeat. I started dancing again, this time working out a routine.

"What are you doing?" I jumped, and turned around, landing awkwardly on my butt as the realization that I had been caught sunk in. My face flamed with embarrassment and disappointment. Crap.

"What the hell?" I heard him mutter has he strode quickly and confidently towards me. I suddenly became aware of the pain erupting in my knee. I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.

"What are you doing here?" I stuttered out, struggling to my feet. The idea that a dancer can still be clumsy ticked me off to no end. When I watched girls walk gracefully _with _high heels- knowing that they didn't spend hours every day for years being graceful and managed to walk gracefully...

You could say I was a little bitter.

"Umm, I came early to practice…are you okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine." I snapped, limping towards the piano bench, rubbing my knee to get rid of the pain as a mother would wipe off dirt from her child's face.

"I don't think so; you're not supposed to dance anymore." Edward's matter-of-fact tone irritated me. His statement was _so _final, as if he just expected me to close off a part of my life without a fight.

"Of so, if you broke all of your fingers, or seriously injured you hands and the doctors told you that you couldn't play the piano ever again you wouldn't fight back and try before closing off a part of your soul?" I asked bitterly, looking into his eyes.

"No," He stated once again with finality in his tone. My face burned with anger.

"Hypocrite." Edward stared at me with what I assumed was disbelief.

"You shouldn't dance; it will only make things worse." He all but ordered, as if he were my doctor. How DARE he tell ME what I can and can't do. I bit my tongue, the taste of blood making my grimace in disgust.

"Well, I'm pretty sure if you were in my shoes meaning, you were told that the one thing that made you who you are- the one thing that defined you and made you complete was suddenly ripped out of your life you'd fight like hell to take it back. Don't judge what you don't know or try to tell me otherwise, it's unbecoming." I spat out, still feeling the pain in my knee.

"I'm sorry." Edward's voice was resigned, which surprised me.

"What, no 'you couldn't dance anyway?' or 'you deserve it?'" I looked up, only to see Edward kneel in front of me and begin to rub my knee. Almost instantly the pain subsided.

"No one deserves what you had to go through." I felt tears well up in my eyes. Looking up to avoid the inevitable tracks in of my tears, I sniffled.

"Back to the performance..." I trailed off, hoping my voice was brisque and business like. Edward only looked at me, deep in thought.

"What?" I asked.

"Why don't we incorporate it into our performance? Oh and I heard you before, my music and your lyrics go together perfectly. Anyways, like I was saying you could plan a dance routine for our song." Edward stared at me earnestly; I looked deep into his eyes.

"I can't dance anymore Edward. That may have looked effortless, but it hurt like hell afterwards." I replied sadly.

"Let me help you." Edward was persistent.

"Why do you want to help me?" Edward looked at me sadly.

"Like I said, you deserve better treatment." I stared at him silently, willing his words to be true. I couldn't find fault or any hint that he was lying in his eyes.

"Well let's get started…why don't we work out the chorus, make it flow better." Edward said as he stood, only to sit next to me on the bench. I looked at him, waiting for the sweet notes to fill the room again.

He started to play, and nodded at me, cueing me to start singing. When we reached the chorus, he started singing too- in perfect harmony. It felt right. At the second verse, I stopped and let him continue. He looked at me and I nodded in encouragement. His voice was beautiful. The chorus arrived again, and I joined him but this time harmonizing. We finished the song.

"Wow." It was all I could say. The song was perfect. _Just like the Adonis I'm sitting next to._ I looked up at him. He was looking down at me, with a crooked grin on his face. I leaned closer to him, and he started to lean in closer to me. The perfect moment, with the perfect person. I sighed and closed my eyes praying that I hadn't fallen asleep on the couch again. Our lips were almost touching.

What was I doing? I opened my eyes and looked at his face. His eyes were closed. I pulled away, and to my great amusement-, he started kissing air. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but smirk. I looked back up from the ground and saw that he was staring at me with a puzzled look on his face. Apparently, Edward hadn't been rejected before. Before I could get caught in his green incoherency deathtraps, I looked down.

I refused to be another one of _those_ girls that were charmed by Edward- even if he had treated them as if they were nothing beforehand. I couldn't forget everything he had said to me over the years. I deserved more than that.

"Um, Edward…we…need to um, start practicing if we expect to win this thing." My attempt of trying to rub the entire kissing air thing, and being rejected in his face came out as a weak response. Dang his entire presence. Dang. It. Edward seemed frozen, and then I heard his sweet melody begin to play. I started singing. This was going to be a long year.

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Don't forget to review! First 10 reviews get a sneak peak of the next chapter!


	8. Chapter Eight

Special Shoutouts to the first ten reviewers of Chapter Seven! Thank-you for all of the reviews! WOW! HUGE outbreak of support...thank-you! I know it takes some time to write reviews...I will be the first to admit that i'm a horrible reviewer, but it certainly makes writing so exciting...and encouraging.

first reviewers:

twilightsun01, PaperDreamsable, ChAnNyObSeSsEd, twilightlvr4vr, ClumsyQuirkyBookworms, CharlotteRiley17

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I stared at my phone. It seemed to look right back at me. It was mocking me because I was a coward. I had dialled Edward's number that he had given me at the end of our rehearsal so I could call and plan another one. All I had to do was push the damned green button. I couldn't do it. Over the course of 20 minutes, I had probably dialled and redialled his number a million times.

Still my phone glared back at me mockingly.

At the sound of Alice's giggles, I averted my gaze from the phone, just in time to see Alice lunge for my phone. As if moving in slow motion, her finger pressed the dial button before I could shelter my phone from the grasp of her tiny fingers. My face drained of colour as the phone began to ring; Alice just pranced away, giggling. Suddenly my senses returned to me.

"_**Alice!**_" I screamed, my voice laced with disbelief and fear. "I'm going to kill-"

"Hello?" Edward cut my tangent off, in the process making me squeak in surprise. I could hear Alice laughing from the bathroom as I stared at the phone in absolute horror.

"Hello, who is this?" Edward sounded impatient, speaking in hushed tones. This seemed to bring me to my senses.

"Um…Hi, sorry to bother you but I haven't seen you since our last rehearsal. We need to plan another one. I had a great idea and I thought we could-" Edward interrupted me again.

"Sorry Bella, I can't talk right now…I'm…I'm at work. Call you later." And with that, Edward hung up. I looked at the phone in disbelief. Edward Cullen- working? I couldn't believe it. He was probably just having a make out session with some girl somewhere.

I settled back into the couch, wondering what to do with myself for the rest of the night. The dorm was eerily silent. Alice had gone to the studio for her private practice. I closed my mind, pretending I was gliding across the floor. My thoughts drifted towards Edward. _Again._

All of a sudden, a high-pitched menacing scream erupted from my cell phone. I jumped at the sudden and unexpected sound, falling off the couch. With shaky hands, I glanced at my phone surprise becoming even more evident.

"Um, Hi- Edward is that you?" I answered, trying and most likely failing to sound calm, cool and collected as I sat on the floor.

"Yah, sorry about that. I was let off work early. Where do you want to rehearse?"

"Oh that's great! You're working? Well anyways, I'm on my way to the dance studio now…want to meet me there?" My tone and excitement seemed to grow with every word. I could almost hear Edward roll his eyes, or mentally mock my 'nerd-like' excitement for human contact.

"Sure. See you in 5."

"Okay great, bye Edward." I hung up the phone, coming to the realization that my hair looked like a haystack, I was in my pyjamas and was supposed to be on my way to the studio. Never before in my life had I wished Alice could do my hair and makeup.

Scrambling off the floor, I ran to my closet throwing on the first dance outfit I saw. While slipping on my shoes at the front door, I gathered my hair into a messy ponytail, only to realize that I didn't have an elastic on my wrist. Frantically scanning my desk for an elastic and coming up short, I hastily lunged for a pencil. While I walked down the hallway and into the elevator, I managed to twist my hair into a bun, fastening it with my pencil.

When I walked through the dance studio, I was both surprised and relieved to see that Edward wasn't there yet. As I settled myself on the stage, I could hear the rehearsal doors opening then close. I turned.

"So how was work? Where are you working? WHY are you working?" I shot at Edward at an embarrassing pace. Since when had I been _talkative?_ I felt my cheeks heat up as I came to the realization that I had asked every question in one breath.

"Um…it was work. I'm working at La Bella Italia, and I'm working because my parents cut me off financially. They're trying to teach me a lesson or something." I smiled as his voice expressed disgust, disappointment and a deep sense of injustice. Poor Edward forced to fend for himself. Must be so, so hard.

"So I guess I'm not the only one who needs that scholarship now, huh?" Edward laughed at my retort.

"Yah, I guess you're right." Edward smiled at me, my smile mirrored his. After a minute of 'stare at Edward meaninglessly' time, Edward's place of work dawned on me.

"Wait; did you say La Bella Italia?"

"Yah. Apparently I'm taking your place, because you can't work with that awful knee injury of yours." Like a kindergartener, he stuck my tongue out at me. I smiled again, and then burst into laughter.

"I'm really sorry…but trust me working for there is way better than the smoothie place. The manager there is a total jerk." He glanced at me in surprise. Acknowledging his questioning gaze I continued, "Tuition here with dorm and food fees doesn't exactly add up to easy living. Before my accident, I had to pay for everything. Naturally, I had to have two jobs. The scholarship I received helped a little bit but didn't cover anything." He stared at me in what only could be disbelief.

"What about your parents?" He asked, concern lacing his tone. My smile faltered and I looked down.

"Let's just say that just because you've been financially cut-off, you should count your blessings that your parents go to every one of your performances, and care about you enough to feel the need to teach to life lessons."

"So your parents don't support your dance and art school thing?" Edward assumed. Refusing to let this conversation progress to the stage where I became a blubbering mess, I stood and turned to him to reply.

"Something like that."

"Ah, so how are you managing now?" I smiled at his curiosity.

"A couple that live just off campus have practically adopted me as they're own. I worked for them, and apparently became the daughter they never had. They're always helping me out." I felt uncomfortable, looking at the floor. Hoping the change the subject, I exclaimed, "You should really meet them. In fact- they invited me to dinner tonight! You should come. They would love to meet you!" I looked at him, bubbling with excitement. Dinner with Esme and Carlisle was always delicious and made me feel like I _had _a family.

"I can't. With work and everything, I haven't had the chance to do any homework. Let's get this rehearsal started." Edward was blunt, I could almost hear him thinking. Edward's mood swings were giving me whiplash. He was happy, friendly only to quickly revert to the usual brooding and moody Edward Cullen.

"Great! Let's get started." My enthusiasm forced.

I had stayed up most of the night coming up with a routine. Edward would start at the piano and I would be in the far corner of the stage, sitting while I sang. As I started to sing, Edward would look up surprised, and I would look at him. He would walk towards me, offering me his hand and we would start to dance and sing together. (A/N: picture dance scene in Enchanted to So Close) It took Edward a few tries to get a hang of the routine. As I guided him through the steps, I could feel an almost tangible charge in the air.

"Okay, I think that does it for tonight." I smiled easily at Edward as I sat next to him. Edward was sprawled across the stage. At my words he sat up, and stood slowly. Offering my hand, Edward helped me stand as well.

"I'd better go. See you later?" I asked. Edward had started to collect his things.

"Yeah, sure. I'll talk to you later." Edward said as he turned. I started walking out the rehearsal hall, making a final wave as I walked through the doors. As soon as I stepped outside, a wall of freezing air hit me. In my haste to get to the rehearsal hall on time, I neglected a jacket. _Damn._

Groaning, I turned and as usual wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, colliding into someone. Before I could fall on the hard concrete, a very muscular arm caught me. I looked up with surprise.

"Edward?" Edward smiled at me, waiting until I was steady on my feet before releasing me.

"You didn't bring a jacket, and it's dark. I should probably walk you to your dorm. Here," Edward explained, handing me his own jacket. I slipped it on, relishing in the warmth it provided.

"You didn't have to do that- thanks."

"No problem, now what dorm building do you live in?"

"Building 3," I replied as we started to walk together. I was highly aware how purposefully slow we were walking, as if we wanted our walk to last _longer._

"Bella, I know this seems really stupid to ask, but would you mind if I held your hand?" Edward asked tentively, expecting me to say no. Glancing up at him through my eyelashes, I nodded. Almost immediately Edward laced his fingers through mine dazzling me with his crooked grin.

"I feel like I don't know you at all," Edward mused, but my attention was almost entirely focussed on how perfectly our hands fit together.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Where are you from originally?"

"Uhm, Forks, Washington." Edward guffawed.

"No, seriously where are you from?"

"Forks."

"What, not Knives, or Spoons?"

"Seriously Edward, I'm from Forks, Washington. I was born there. My dad was the police chief and my mom was the kindergarten teacher there."

"Is that a real place?"

"No, I'm just screwing with you," I said sarcastically, bumping my shoulder into his. He smiled, and repeated the gesture.

"Where is that?"

"Its a few hours away from Seattle, the city right after Port Angeles. It's beautiful there. The trees, my God you wouldn't be able to believe the trees," By the end of my sentence, my voice sounded wistful and sad. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop the excruciating pain that ripped through my body. I missed home, and I missed my parents.

"You miss it don't you?" I looked up at Edward, to find him looking down at me intently. His green eyes seemed to pierce my soul- seeing me for what I really was. A broken, lost child floundering in her attempts to live and learn and grow without her mom.

"Yeah, but-"Edward cut me off.

"Your parents aren't," I cut him off this time.

"Yeah, something like that." I looked away quickly, trying to disguise my small lie to cover up the truth that I would never be willing to admit.

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here you have it!

I have a blog, if you want to check it out! (might tide you over)

http:/w w w DOT kirsti - alannarudolph DOT blogspot DOT com (remove spaces!)


	9. Chapter Nine

Special thanks for the reviews! This chapter is a little heavy. I got a sudden inspiration. May I suggest listening to the following songs whilst reading: Permanent by David Cook, Gravity by Sara Bareilles, Running Away by Midnight Hour and Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson.

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The silence that followed my singular statement, and casual refusal to make eye contact was palpable in the air. It hung around us like a bad omen; a shadow of what the truth really was. Seeing the door to my dorm was a welcome relief that I was sure I'd never forget. There was just something about having knowledge of what to expect- whether it be sights, sounds, smells, or _feelings._

I was so focussed on unlocking my door, that I jumped when Edward took an intake of breath. Turning to scrutinize his expression I could almost see the cogs of curiosity turning- his eyes boring down into mine like an MRI, or an x-ray; trying to get the picture of what my soul really looked like so he could fix it.

"So, I guess I'll see you later then," I asked, my eyes unwilling to break eye contact.

"Uh, yeah sure." Edward grimaced as he ran his fingers through his hair- a gesture that I was sure had become a habit that he hadn't noticed.

"You okay?" By Edward's expression, I could almost read his mind: _You're asking if I'm okay?_

"Yeah, just a little sore is all."

"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! Here, come on in and make yourself comfortable. I'll have to almost back to normal in no time." I jumped at the chance to redirect the attention away from me. My over- helpful gesture stunned Edward into a stoic statue in front of my door as I bustled into my dorm. "Thanks." I found a comfy looking sofa and plopped down on it. It felt over crowded with pink, purple, and white pillows.

"Sorry, my new roommate Alice…likes to decorate things." I said, giving him an apologetic smile, not failing to notice his incredulous express decor. Truthfully, it looked like the teeny bopper section at Bed, Bath and Beyond vomited in our apartment.

"No problem…it's…homey?" I laughed at his failed attempt to be polite.

"You're much too kind sir." I said sarcastically.

"So…how about my cure doc?"

"Here, take these, and start rubbing this wherever it hurts." I handed him two advil, and a bottle of life saving lotion. I had no idea what was actually in it, but my dance teachers swore by it

"Thank you. I better get going…it's late and my parents are going to be wondering where I am." As he said this he tried to get up, but failed miserably.

"Sorry to inform you, but I don't think you can walk by yourself at the moment." I handed him a glass of water for the pills, and smirked. "Wait- did you just say you live with your parents? I thought they cut you off."

"They did, but being as compassionate people, they offered to let me move in with them to soften the blow of financial responsibility." I snorted at that.

"Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose? Making it easy for you?" The look on Edward's face chilled my heart- frantically sending all smart retorts, teasing and laughter into a cease fire.

"I need to go. Thanks for everything, I'll see you later." Edward stood- successfully this time and walked towards the door. "I'll give back the lotion at our next practice."

"Don't worry about it. I don't use it anymore. I'll call you. Bye Edward."

When Edward closed the door to my dorm, I collapsed on my bed- shards of deep rooted guilt, fear and grief overwhelming me. Hearing the clinking of keys, and the eventual creak of our dorm room open, Alice walked in. She looked at me once- her eyes widening at what she saw.

"Oh my God, Bella, are you okay?" It wasn't until she asked, that I became aware of the moisture streaming down my cheeks, or the uncontrollable shudders that controlled my body. My hands were clutched uselessly around my stomach- trying to hold myself together. Wordlessly, Alice walked over to me- enveloping my pathetic body in a warm hug. I clutched to her for dear life, remembering, seeing and hearing the echoes from my past become distinguishingly clearer with every breath, heartbeat, and tear.

We stayed like that for a long time- until the sobs quieted. I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my cheeks.

"Alice," I asked as I pulled away, so I could look at her. Like the kind of friend everyone wished they had- Alice grasped my hand, somehow knowing that I needed a tangible lifeline.

"Yes Bella?"

"Do you remember when we talked about our parents?" Alice nodded in response. After helping Alice unpack, I asked her about her family and in turn she about mine. I had only told her that my parents weren't supportive of me coming to Phoenix.

"My parents- they," I stopped, swallowing down the sobs that were fighting back to the surface. Sniffling, I continued. "About 2 years ago my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. It was so out of the blue. She was the healthiest, most liveliest person that I knew." I paused again, trying miserably to find an ounce of composure. Refusing to look at Alice, I instead stared down at the rug Alice had purchased from Walmart earlier that week.

"She fought so, so hard, but she just couldn't beat it. The cancer was too strong. I remember her funeral. My dad insisted that I see her for the last time. I was at a dance workshop in Seattle when she passed. It was a 3 week thing. I didn't want to go, but my mom insisted that I continue life as normal."

"Oh Bella," Alice sighed- tears evident in her voice.

"I didn't recognise the person in the casket. It was so _scary_. The first thing that came to mind was, _Oh my God! Why is there a Zombie in mum's casket? It isn't Halloween, this isn't funny._ Her skin was grey. Everything about her that made her my mom was gone. All that was left was her skin and bones. She was wearing her favourite dress that she bought when we went on this stupid shopping trip. It just didn't look right. Whenever I think of her, that's all I can see. It's all I remember." Tears flowed faster and my breathing hitched at the confession. Alice hugged me again, rubbing my back. I was far from finished. As much as I wished cancer was the end of the story- it would be a lie. Death, and his friends of guilt, fury, confusion, and loneliness always refused to relinquish their grip on once happy lives.

"After...after the funeral, my dad and I," I took a shuddering breath. "My dad and I fought a lot. He couldn't look at me anymore. I was this carbon copy of my mum. Eventually we just stopped talking. He took extra shifts at work, and I spent almost every minute in the dance studio. It was the only thing that helped."

"I came home late one night after being at the studio all day. The house was so dark, so still. God- it was like a mortuary. I smelt it before I saw it, the blood I mean." My words were robotic, monotone. It made me sound heartless. I _cared._ It crushed me to think of how I was acting.

"All the lights were off. I remember calling out to my dad. The police cruiser was parked in the driveway. He didn't answer. I kept walking towards the kitchen- when I tripped on something. I fell to the ground face first, broke my nose. I felt water everywhere. I was so confused. When I looked to find what tripped me, all I saw was an outline of a person." As I spoke, I looked at my hands- almost seeing the blood that was on them when I found my dad.

"Every day after getting home from work, my dad would always hang his belt that held all his police stuff on a special peg he installed beside the fridge, but the phone. That night when I looked up at it, I couldn't see the gun. It didn't take long for me to turn on the lights. It was my dad. His right hand was holding the gun still, I always wondered how that was possible. He was so, so pale- yet everywhere around him was red. He killed himself; shot himself in the head. He missed my mum- he loved her so much." I started sobbing again- this time violently and without mercy.

"Alice, I should've been there," I screamed through the tears. Alice only held me, unyielding as my arms thrashed, trying to break away from the comfort my friend provided.

"I was gone," I moaned, biting my lip. "I was gone, they're gone." I repeated over and over, not even registering the words that Alice whispered to me, her small body shaking with tears.

"I wasn't there," I shrieked in agony, my chest convulsing at the effort it took. Black spots entered my vision- I fought against the sobs to take in air, but the fight was a frivolous waste of time.

"Oh, my God- Bella, stay with me. It's Alice, Bella!" Alice shrieked, lunging for my cell phone.

"No, Esme- it's not Bella." Alice paused, before exclaiming, "Shit! Shit, shit. Answering machine." I could hear Alice frantically pounding the number keys. "Please pick up...please pick up...Oh, thank GOD! It's Alice. I need you're help."

Slowly, I felt my world spin out of control. All the precipices that I had gained and used to find my centre and control were gone. All it took was one innocent question from someone who had taken the one thing from me that no one should dare to want. Edward Cullen had stolen my heart- a shattered mess dripping with hopes long lost and gone. With it- my sanity, and sanctuary with the knowledge that no one knew my shortcomings.

I was back to just Bella Swan- the poor girl whose mother died of cancer, and father who killed himself because he couldn't stand to look at her anymore. More than anything, I wished I was the one that was gone. As that my last thoughts faded- my world went black.

* * *

Let me know what you think! As always, XOXXO Kirsti


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